Remote Connections: See Configuring Remote Connections: http://blogs.msdn.com/sqlexpress/archive/2005/05/05/415084.aspx
For the SQL Server service start-up problem you should post to http://forums.microsoft.com/MSDN/ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=93&SiteID=1
Microsoft is conducting an online survey to understand your opinion of the Msdn Web site. If you choose to participate, the online survey will be presented to you when you leave the Msdn Web site.
Would you like to participate?