Jeff Spacek

Question

Jeff is no longer with us. Sadly, he has taken his own life. I'm saddened and very hurt at this news. He was a mainstay for me and has become a piece of me. I never met him but felt genuine love for him. We shall miss you.....

Renee

Answer 1

Why he did that, taking his own life?

what was wrong with him?

 

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Just Be Humble Malange!

Answer 2

Malange,

I appreciate your caring but I have given all the data that we think it's prudent to give. Nothing had to be wrong with him.

Renee

Answer 3

Malange,

I appreciate your caring but I have given all the data that we think it's prudent to give. Nothing had to be wrong with him.

Renee

Thanks. 

We gonna miss him, indeed.

 

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Just Be Humble Malange!

Answer 4

Very sad...   Jeff had so much to offer here.  Thanks for the post Renee.

BTW:  For those who know him by user name rather than full name:  http://social.msdn.microsoft.com/profile/jeff%20-%20www.srsoft.us/?type=forum

 

Answer 5

Somewhere in someones application there is a bit of code, a small yet important part of the whole, and it was written by Jeff.

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…we each have more potential than we might ever presume to guess. (Blog: http://dsmyth.blogspot.com/)

Answer 6

I for one will miss him because I have been in contact with him via email for a good while and had become a friend. He was a very kind and generous person who believed in helping others. He would go out of his way to help the homeless and less fortunate. For this reason the world just became less than what it was.

Curtis

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Answer 7

I don't know what to say... other than @#$%

Jeff was a great Forum member, spending lots of time helping others, especially with questions on DataBase.  He helped me a lot, through personal emails, when I started working with databases.

Derek makes a great point - he will live on in so many programs written by others.

Renee, not to be picky but in my opinion the second line didn't need to be stated. I wouldn't want that to influence people's opinion of him.

Answer 8

I understand Javilla and I debated and thought that I'd have endless questions if I did not supply that.

Renee

Answer 9

Well, again in my opinion, that will just cause more questions, as per Malange's first post.

And I think more speculation since we  know the how but not the why. And one thing I've learned with something like this is speculation is never good, since it is almost always wrong.

 

Answer 10

HI everyone,

Thanks for your responce on this sad occasion. I will miss his friendly way and ease at witch he could answer questions.

 It is none of our business as to why because he was a good person and that is all any of us need to know. Anything we could say about this would just be specalation and why would any one want to cause his family more pain by speculating. You see for all we know his family is looking at this post and what is beening said about their loved one.

So Please everyone send your condolences, but show respect to him and his family by leaving the speculation out.

Curtis

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Answer 11

HI everyone,

Thanks for your responce on this sad occasion. I will miss his friendly way and ease at witch he could answer questions.

 It is none of our business as to why because he was a good person and that is all any of us need to know. Anything we could say about this would just be specalation and why would any one want to cause his family more pain by speculating. You see for all we know his family is looking at this post and what is beening said about their loved one.

So Please everyone send your condolences, but show respect to him and his family by leaving the speculation out.

Curtis

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Always Lost in Code, Always mark answers as correct if they answer you question and solve your problem. This way others when searching for similar problems can find the answer faster.

Hi Curtis UN,

I could not have said it better myself.

My sincere condolences go to Jeffs' Family and Friends and all those who have met or communicated with Him.

We are all saddened by the loss of a forum member.

 

As Curtis UN has just said, let us all leave out any speculation, please.

 

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Regards,

John

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Answer 12

I am pretty ill for Jeff. We wrote till the beginning of August. Jeff was very honest and talked about his feelings. The trouble is that most people get over it. I'm willing to believe that was what made him so special. The problem was that Jeff, "did not get over it."

Renee

Answer 13

This is a direct quote from Jeffs web site (since I'm not sure whether it may be taken down at some point):

 

 

Wednesday April 7, 2010
 
    Today I was driving and noticed a man sitting at a bus stop.  He had quite a few bags which looked like old luggage or carrying bags.  He looked to me as though he might be homeless and had stopped for a rest.  I was on the inside lane on the same side of the street at a stop light.  After the light changed I made my way over to the same side of the road as the bus stop and into the parking lot to make my way back towards it.  I dug around in my pocket to get some money to give.  I was thinking I would give him a $5 bill, but I pulled out $7, so I decided to give it to him.  As I made my way to the bus stop I could see he was now across the street; so I drove into the street back to the same light I was at before in order to turn into the parking lot on the other side of the road.  He was stopped at the corner and as I turned into the parking lot I thought he was wating there for something.  The intersection was pretty busy and there were quite a few cars coming in and out.  After turning around, I realized he was now further down on the other side of the parking lot exit by another bus stop.  So I made my way back into the street in the opposite direction and into the next parking lot entrance.  Finally I could see him at the bus stop and I pulled around a video store building behind the bus stop. 
    At first I thought he was just waiting for the bus and maybe he was not homeless, until I realized he was putting his bags into a shopping cart in order to carry them through the large shopping center parking lot.  I pulled up to the basket and gestured for him to come over.  I held out the money in my hand and said to him that he looked like he could use some help.  He had a look of relief on his face and said "yes".  I handed him the money and he said "God bless you".  I said to him that I hope he will be ok and he replied "I will now; for a little while".  I started driving away and felt good that I had helped him but I felt it just wasn't enough.  So I made my way back around the building again and gave him another $20  Again he said "God bless you" and I drove away.
    Before I had seen him on the side of the road at the bus stop the first time I had just come from the store where I was considering buying something for $27 that I did not really need; and so I felt the money was better given to someone who would use it for something important; the things we take for granted: food, water, a place to stay.
    My ride home was about 20 minutes and during the trip I thought several times that I wish I could do more.  I also recalled as I was waiting at the light looking at him on the other side of the road, I watched many people in their vehicles and realized that this person was invisible to hundreds of people waiting at the light and driving past.  No doubt they had their minds on the important things like what song was playing on the radio or who they could text on their phone and all the mundane things in their dream worlds.

     I hope this story has given you some insight as to what I have done and continue to do for those I see in need; and I hope it will help to open your eyes and your heart to those around us that need to know they are not forgotten.

 

Jeff Spacek

 

 

 

 

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Stephen J Whiteley

Answer 14

My condolences to Jeff's family, he sure was a great guy and he loved to help people.

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John Grove - DSS, Senior Software Engineer

Answer 15

Answer 16

I am pretty ill for Jeff. We wrote till the beginning of August. Jeff was very honest and talked about his feelings. The trouble is that most people get over it. I'm willing to believe that was what made him so special. The problem was that Jeff, "did not get over it."

Renee

Hi Renee and everyone else,

It is such a sad loss for the entire community, I was also moved by the quote SJWhiteley has also posted above.

We all know our minds can go through a very mixed bag of emotions.

It is a pity and shame that ....

 

Jeff, "did not get over it."

 

 

whatever He was thinking. However, as has already been said, can we not speculate please?

 I was further moved today by the death of a neighbour whom I've known since I was around 5 years old, 40 years ago.

 

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Regards,

John

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Answer 17

It was simple....he was hurting.

John, as a helper you are similar to Jeff. I am a fan of yours too.

Renee

Answer 18

It was simple....he was hurting.

John, as a helper you are similar to Jeff. I am a fan of yours too.

Renee

Hi Renee,

Thank you. :-)

I've sent you a message via FaceBook. I spotted you in the Friends of another MSDN forum user. :)

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Regards,

John

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Answer 19

Hi Everyone,

 Here is an Email I recieved From Jeff's wife. It contains Information I think that most of you would like to know.

"Jeff's funeral will be on Tuesday August 31st..... It has been a rough week already but the links and the words that the forum have posted is wonderful to read, his kids love them too... and his parents and other family members are enjoying reading them because they didn't even know that side of him or his work... so thank you very much for sending that link to me...

 

Carrey"

 

 Thanks to everyone for showing their respect to Jeff and his family.

Curtis

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Always Lost in Code, Always mark answers as correct if they answer you question and solve your problem. This way others when searching for similar problems can find the answer faster.

Answer 20

Thanks 4 sharing with us.

May God protect the family and help them to come out of this very sad moment.

I wish to the kids the best to all them.  

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Just Be Humble Malange!

Answer 21

I'm sad

Cor

Answer 22

Thanks Curtis for sharing the message. 

Stephens message about Jeff helping the homeless guy was what Jeff was about. I've been trying for a couple of days to try and write something about Jeff and what he did here on the forums and I'm failing to put it into words. It seems appropriate that Jeff himself summed it up perfectly. He helped those that needed it the most. Always being patient and always going that extra mile to help. Never a thought for himself.

Thanks for posting that Stephen.

Cor isn't alone in feeling heavy hearted.

Rest in peace big Jeff, I'm going to miss you man.

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…we each have more potential than we might ever presume to guess. (Blog: http://dsmyth.blogspot.com/)

Answer 23

Very sad

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Mike McIntyre Senior Developer / Partner aZ Software Developers

Answer 24

Rest in piece Jeff, rest in peace.

To his family, please accept my deepest condolences.

Answer 25

"I'm sad"

I saw this and reflected that it's the most real thing I've ever seen Cor say.

Renee

Answer 26

This is again a sad day for the comunity here. I am also missing Jeff. My thougths are with him and his family.

Curtis: thanks for sharing

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Hannes

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Answer 27

As I re-read this thread it seems I can begin to sense something is not right. He was such a nice gentleman. Always eager to help, yet humble to learn more.

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John Grove - DSS, Senior Software Engineer

Answer 28

I feel very sad to hear that so shocking news! @#$% I can hardly believe that.

This is a sad day for the community here, a big loss of community contributors.

I am also missing Jeff. I often refer to his instructive site http://www.srsoft.us/. It's very kindly and patient of him to help others with his rich technical experience! Thank you our dear friend Jeff for your long term friendly help and support in MSDN community! I miss you.

To his family, please accept my deepest condolences!

 

Best regards,

Martin Xie

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Answer 29

Martin, I feel the same way. I wish I could do more.

Renee

Answer 30

@Renee

I'm not being rude or to inquisitive about it.

With all respect and love, being part of this lovely community, - I still think that we should know why Jeff, decided to take is life. 

 Life is too short, too beautiful, and unpredictable sometimes. I would like to know why....

The reason why I would like to find out or know why he did it, it's because, some of us could be facing the same problems that Jeff went through, and to prevent -- if I can say so -- Someone else to take his own life again as Jeff did, would be good if we could know the truth....that could help us to deal with or handle better -- "the Issue that lead him to" --- than to take our life.

I read Jeff's last post, Refereed by JohnGrove, and one the things that he said, was ----I hope you enjoying doing the thing that you are doing( talking about programming or IT). We all are IT people like Jeff Was, If something is wrong about it or if being IT person lead Jeff to do what he did, I think that we all should know the truth about it!

Sorry Renee....And family....

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Just Be Humble Malange!

Answer 31

You aren't being rude at all Malange. I'm in a spot however: torn between the people who think I've said too much and those who who want to know more, even if for good reasons.

Jeff did not leave us for any unusual reasons. However, I think the reason we loved him so much was the reason for his undoing which was his sensitivity and honesty. In others words, the qualities that we loved so much were his undoing. All the reasons that we loved him and they were extensive, are the reasons why he left us. He couldn't take it any longer.

For those of you, like Malange who worry that they may be next, find someone you trust to talk to, and let it out.

Malange, if you still feel that I have not said enough talk to me. Somehow together, we'll get through this.

Renee 

Answer 32

So sad.  Wounds like this can only be healed with a large dose of time.

 

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Answer 33

It's true Db. But I seem to re-wound myself whenever he comes up. How much time is needed to heal from having lost someone like Jeff? (I must apologize for the rhetorical question.) The worse part of it is that I talked to him a tremendous amount off of the forum. He was a close and irreplaceable friend.

Renee

Answer 34

Curtiss just wrote me. If Jeff's close friends write to me, I'll try to have something for you.

Renee

Answer 35

It's true Db. But I seem to re-wound myself whenever he comes up. How much time is needed to heal from having lost someone like Jeff? (I must apologize for the rhetorical question.) The worse part of it is that I talked to him a tremendous amount off of the forum. He was a close and irreplaceable friend.

Renee

It hurts until it doesn't hurt anymore. Every day it will get a little better, even if it is infinitesimal, until one day you will just remember the good.  If you are spiritual, take solace in the fact that he is in a better place.

A couple of months ago one of the nurses at my cardiac rehab lost her husband.  When she went back to work you could see the pain.  As time has gone by she has started to look better, but you can tell it still hurts.

 

When my mother passed I found some bit of comfort in these words;

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jrcole/gibran/prophet/prophet.htm#Death

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Answer 36

For those of you, like Malange who worry that they may be next, find someone you trust to talk to, and let it out.

Malange, if you still feel that I have not said enough talk to me. Somehow together, we'll get through this.

 

Sorry If I got you wrong, but are trying to say that "He had no-one to talk to or to trust"? 

That is sad too sad. Really sad and bad, for a such amazing character, that JEFF Was!

Am really confused. 

Renee, If you were so close to him, as you said or wrote, how come you could not help him?

Tell us the truth! Why someone like him decide to end himself?

What was his point?

What Jeff was trying to say to us?

 

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Just Be Humble Malange!

Answer 37

Malange,

 Here is my Web address http://underwoods-software-productions.webs.com/ listed there at the bottom of the page 'About Us' is my email address. Contact me or Renee  before you say anything else. I have already stated that this should not be discussed on the forum. All the other forum members agree with this. It would just show disrepect to a good man to discuss this.

 Curtis

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Always Lost in Code, Always mark answers as correct if they answer you question and solve your problem. This way others when searching for similar problems can find the answer faster.

Answer 38

Malange,

 Here is my Web address http://underwoods-software-productions.webs.com/ listed there at the bottom of the page 'About Us' is my email address. Contact me or Renee  before you say anything else. I have already stated that this should not be discussed on the forum. All the other forum members agree with this. It would just show disrepect to a good man to discuss this.

 Curtis

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Always Lost in Code, Always mark answers as correct if they answer you question and solve your problem. This way others when searching for similar problems can find the answer faster.

Thanks.

 

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Just Be Humble Malange!

Answer 39

Malange,

I have received your note and have replied. Feel free to write to me at any time.

Renee

Answer 40

Malange,

 For some resaon the your email address from the the email I recieved from you is not correct. It ends with @Hotmail.co and this is not correct I am correcting this to what I think it should be @Hotmail.com but I am not sure that is all that is wrong.

 All mail we sent you was returned I think.

Curtis

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Always Lost in Code, Always mark answers as correct if they answer you question and solve your problem. This way others when searching for similar problems can find the answer faster.

Answer 41

I've have been a member on here a long time and although I don't really post, I have worked with jeff and you will see my product silent screen on his website, we have talked through email a lot. I'm so shocked about this news. Jeff you will be dearly missed,

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** CHECK OUT HTTP://www.rapidsoftware.co.uk MY NEW APPLICATIONS SILENT SCREEN & RAPID DJ **

Answer 42

Hi all,

For those interested I recieved an email from Carrey Jeffs wife and she wanted me to post something for her but It had her email address in it and I really don't think it would be proper or correct so I emailed her back and suggested she write the post differently I have not heard back yet. But here is the e mail without with some of information I think should be cahnged .

  Thank you all so much for your thoughts, prayers, condolences and well wishes.  They mean so much coming from his friends on this forum where he spent so much of his time the last 5 years.   Also if anyone has suggestions on what I should do with his website or his programs that he developed, I do not know much about programming, so I could use some help.

Here is a link to Jeff's Obituary if you would like to read it and also you should know that in his Eulogy that I gave I mentioned the forum and all of his friends here and quoted some of what ya'll said about him, most of his family did not know this side of Jeff like his children and I did. Here is the link http://wilsoncountynews.com/article.php?id=29983

 

Carrey ( Jeff's Wife)

 There is two reason's I left out the address first is it is against the standard policy and secondly I am not sure she Understands that there is more than just Jeff's friends and people he knew or helped seeing these posts.

 I hope you understand my reasons.

Curtis

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Answer 43

Hi again link did not take so I had to edit it. It apeears to work now. The reason I posted this part instead of waiting is I don't know how long the site will carry his Obituary. And I know you would want to see his Obituary.

Curtis

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Answer 44

Renee,

I don't believe you remember me, but I was very active on the forum up till last year (learning from all of you experienced folks), until my personal/professional life afforded me less time to devote to programming. 

You and Jeff both helped me very much, and I learned even more by reading both his and your threads. You seemed to complement one another.

After he did not return my email in early September (which was highly unusual and he did not answer from his srsoft.us site), I began to search the forum again.

I was devastated to learn of his passing. I know that he had challenges in his personal life, but he was always such a giving and kind man to me. For the past few years, Jeff was a great motivator and teacher to me. Not only on the forum but he would directly email me his suggestions and encouragement on coding, and his own life's philosophies. He has been the one main reason I have persevered despite my ignorance in learning programming...his generosity and humility served as personal goals for me as well.

Anyway, I didn't know anyone else who knew Jeff well (as you did), and so I wrote to you. I hope I have not burdened you with this note.

If there is an address of his family/parents that I can send condolescences to, I would appreciate that information. I can give you me email address if desired.

I am very sorry for the loss of Jeff and feel empty right now. I will pray for him. I am thankful he was/is a part of my life.

Kind regards, Mike 

 

Answer 45

I feel heavy also. Jeff was a love and we all knew it. I'll tell curtiss to reach you.

I really glad that you got something out of our writing. It seems we had complimentary interests.

And yes, I remember you.

Best to you,

Renee

Answer 46

Is this him ? Anyone have a pic of Jeff?

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John Grove - DSS, Senior Software Engineer

Answer 47

That's consistent with the pictures I had formed in my head. I don't know for sure that that's a picture of him. I only know what I'm told.

Renee

Answer 48

Hi John,

Jeff's face book haas some.

Curtis

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Always Lost in Code, Always mark answers as correct if they answer you question and solve your problem. This way others when searching for similar problems can find the answer faster.

Answer 49

Thank you. He was a very thoughtful person. He gave such thorough responses.

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John Grove - DSS, Senior Software Engineer